Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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