We're like a lot better than the average bears
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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