If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
