She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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