There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
