She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
