you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
