the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we should paint friendship bongs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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