apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
