I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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