I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
