She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
