Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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