Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
