I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
