Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
