called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
