I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
