I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
