You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
