Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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