he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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