summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
