dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
