dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
