ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
