? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
