he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
