According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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