is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
