Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
