I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
