There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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