i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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