I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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