I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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