butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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