new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
