Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So many bounce houses so little time
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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