I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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