so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
