I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
