So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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