Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
