belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
