Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
