No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
