I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Rumble strips road head = magical
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
