Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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