i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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