so that wasnt chicken after all
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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