Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
